Grief is very personal, and each of us walks our own road to get through it. For some, preparing for a funeral is a very painful affair; others may be more stoic and muddle through while preparing to grieve later when they are alone. So, how can we as friends and family members supports others who are preparing for a funeral? In today’s blog we will give you a few suggestions.
Bring it before the Lord
To bring grief before the Lord, you can verbally express your pain, acknowledge that things are not as they should be, and cast your anxieties on Him, remembering He is near to the brokenhearted and will provide comfort. Of most importance is the fact that in these moments we can rest assure that moving to glory is a thing we all long for.
Some ways to do all this includes crying out to God, allowing yourself to feel honest emotions, and trusting that God grieves with you and provides a path toward healing and hope.
Offer to Help
Whether by calling or dropping by, convey the message that you are available to help. Ask if you can help to make any arrangements or if they need help. Some people who are grieving do not want to talk on the phone, but you can still leave a phone message or a little card on the door.
Use Your Expertise
Offer something that you are good at. For example, if you are very organized, then maybe they could use some help with the logistics of everything. If you are a writer, then offer to help write an obituary. If you are good at keeping someone company, ask if the person who has suffered the loss would like company to go to the funeral home and sign papers or make arrangements or would like to be chauffeured around.
Bring Food
It may sound like an old cliché, but in many cultures, bringing food to the home of those who have suffered a loss is the right thing to do. When people are grief-stricken, they often do not feel like food shopping, cooking, and eating, but not eating makes you feel worse. Bring food in disposable containers that can be thrown out afterwards. If you’re not much of a cook yourself, then you can always get a prepared tray from a local grocer with cold cuts or fruit or cheese.
Remember the “After”
Remember that the grief does not stop the day of the cremation or burial. It can continue a long time. Months, or even years. Drop by or call on your friends from time to time because they will likely benefit from your company a month or two after the funeral. In the weeks that follow, all the out-of-town visitors go home, but the grief is still present.